Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
