I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
