am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
