once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
