your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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