I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
