just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I looked at my own cervix.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
