margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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