i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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