my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
