why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
