'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
