Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
