I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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