If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
