a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
