if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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