I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
