before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
