My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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