Jerry, you need to find god
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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