i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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