you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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