Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Everything about him screamed your future.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
