craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
