You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
