if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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