i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
