Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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