I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
