no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
