So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
