my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Farmville is her only friend.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
