Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
