I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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