Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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