maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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