I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
