Jerry, you need to find god
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
