they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
