At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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