I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Another day, another engagement, another cat
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
