Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
