My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
