This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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