Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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