she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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