Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
