end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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