I think my vagina is haunted
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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