That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
